B.C. Men's Resource Centre
Blog : Jerry Arthur-Wong
CUSTODY/ACCESS
This blog is for comments/observations/news relating to the custody and access of children of separation and divorce.
Police
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The Victoria Police department has finally acknowledged that its officers are biased. The department is developing a program, using the Fair and Impartial Police guidelines, to address this concern. See http://vancouver.24hrs.ca/2015/02/24/victoria-cops-aim-to-reduce-officer-bias In the meantime, the Vancouver Police Department continues to "monitor" others' programs. The bias will continue.
Family Law Act (FLA)
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On March 18, 2013 the Family Law Act took effect replacing the Family Relations Act. Given the amount of resources that went into crafting the Act and the number of years that it will be in place, it is quite limited in scope.
1) There are no intitiatives to help families before they seek help at a lawyer's office or before they appear at the front door of the courthouse. Surely, if conflict or other dissatisfaction leads to the break up of a relationship steps must be taken early on to help couples.
2) People's emotions (for example, anger, resentment, jealousy, hurt, unhappiness) are at the heart of breakups, yet there are no initiatives to help couples with them before, during and after a breakup. Agreements between partners will not be observed if they do not manage their emotions, hence parental alienation, denial of parenting time, and making false allegations against the other parent.
The government did an inadequate job of rolling out the Act. There has been no ongoing public education for it. People have been caught by surprise. Consider common law couples who have been together for close to two years. The FLA now says that these couples have the same property rights as married couples. They need time to consider the ramifications of this change. Do they continue together? Who do they consult? Where do they go for help?
Similarly, parents need time to understand and properly digest the new terminology in the Act, such as parental responsibilities, parenting time, and guardianship. The following sentence contains a misuse of terminology. Can you spot the error and explain the error? "Since I am a guardian of my child, I want more contact with him/her".
Jerry Arthur-Wong, Executive Director, BC Men's Resource Centre
Fathers Days
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so tell me this, how can a Judge in an order state that the mother of the child can supervis the access visits to a child, when the situation has reached the courts and while the couple is still married, the wife applies for sole custody of the child. What reasononing is this on the Judges part? Not exactly King Solomons wisdoms.
Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedom
15. (1) Every individual is equal before and under the law and has the right to the equal protection and equal benefit of the law without discrimination and, in particular, without discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, color, religion, sex, age or mental or physical disability.
24. (1) Anyone whose rights or freedoms, as guaranteed by this Charter, have been infringed or denied may apply to a court of competent jurisdiction to obtain such remedy as the court considers appropriate and just in the circumstances.
I have not seen my son for the last two years, including Fathers day. The Judge stated that the mother could supervise the visits which is in direct conflict for the child and the visit. This is the judgements they pass in Canada, Had the situation been amicable do you think it would reach the courts....
We need to take a look at our Justice System and give Fathers rights too for the benifit of the child, even fathers who pay child support and have joint custody are having trouble accessing their children. Mind you the lawyers and Judges have to be paid, remember it is blood money and will come down to visit those who take blood money.
It is a proven fact that Children who deprived of their relationship with their fathers usally have turblent adolescents and end up seeking approval elsewhere, therefore moving into drugs, alcohol, gangs and so forth.
Thanks to our Justice System for failing for failing our children and the future this country
All you Judges take a look at your rulings as Voilatre said "Common sense is not so common" and an education is not a key to common sense.
Father's Day
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June 19th is Father's Day. Many fathers will enjoy the day with their children. It is a time to observe and celebrate the contributions of fathers. Many other fathers will not do so because the day is not part of their access order, or they are denied access.
What do children who do not see their father on Father's Day think of him? What are they told about why he does not see them on such a special day? What do they actually do on that day? What do they tell their friends who do see their fathers about why they did not see their father?
We clearly need to do more for these children. They do not deserve this abuse.
Dr. Jerry Arthur-Wong
Executive Director
BC boy abducted six years ago has been found
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This blog was prompted by the news (Metronews, June 2, 2011) that a BC boy who vanished six years ago has been found in Arizona. The boy, now 10, is to be reuinted with his father who had custody of him at the time of his disppearance.
Parental abductions are abusive of children. They are relatively rare compared to other forms of abuse that are specific to separation and divorce, namely, access denial, parental alienation, and false allegations. Such children grow up living in hiding and living a lie. Their world is turned upside down. While their reunification is welcomed, the relationship between father and son, at least initially, could be awkward and fraught with emotional challenges.
Other issues related to this case include: the state of mind of the abducting parent; the state of mind of the parent from whom the child was taken away; the need for preventive measures, for example classes on managing emotions during separation and divorce, not only Parenting After Separation workshops, mediation and amber alerts.
Dr. Jerry Arthur-Wong, Executive Director